


Wake Me

by LeoOtherLands



Series: All the Broken Pieces [16]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Healing, Holding Hands, M/M, Sadness, don't mind me, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoOtherLands/pseuds/LeoOtherLands
Summary: Kakashi wished it would just… make up its mind to one thing or another… Was he mourning, or was he healed?Did… he want to be healed?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: All the Broken Pieces [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1386661
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Wake Me

**Author's Note:**

> Summer has come and passed  
> The innocent can never last  
> Wake me up when September ends
> 
> Like my fathers come to pass  
> Seven years has gone so fast  
> Wake me up when September ends
> 
> Here comes the rain again  
> Falling from the stars  
> Drenched in my pain again  
> Becoming who we are
> 
> As my memory rests  
> But never forgets what I lost  
> Wake me up when September ends
> 
> Summer has come and passed  
> The innocent can never last  
> Wake me up when September ends
> 
> Ring out the bells again  
> Like we did when spring began  
> Wake me up when September ends
> 
> [Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdpBZ5_b48g)

He walked with Iruka’s hand in his. Their fingers intertwined and locked firm. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to. Kakashi looked over at Iruka and his lover looked back, face serious.

_Do you want me to come with you?_

Iruka didn’t say it, but it was written on his face. Kakashi shook his head. _No._

The scar across Iruka’s face tightened over his nose when he frowned, but he didn’t protest. Just squeezed Kakashi’s fingers a little tighter.

They walked in continued silence then. The hand not wrapped Iruka’s held the stems of flowers that brushed Kakashi’s leg as they paced forward. He didn’t even know what kind of flowers they were. Wouldn’t even have thought of them on his own. Iruka brought them. Of course, he would. Iruka thought of those things. They were at the forefront of his mind, but that wasn’t how Kakashi’s thoughts worked. All he knew was… he had to… just be there.

When they reached the quiet area surrounding the memorial stone, Iruka let go of his fingers, and offered him a smile. Kakashi just nodded, his heart thumping in his throat. This shouldn’t make him feel this way. Not after this long. But it did. And not all at once, as one would think. It was more like sporadic bouts of weeping spaced out over the course of the day. Coming and going in an odd way. Kakashi wished it would just… make up its mind to one thing or another… Was he mourning, or was he healed?

Did… he want to be healed?

This last question lingered longest in his head as he walked through the graves. It didn’t feel like he should. Even if years had piled on years and he’d grown up, fought wars, killed, died, come back, found a lover, found a son. It didn’t feel like the ache should have gone away, and both weeping and feeling hollow and… almost natural felt wrong. What was the matter with him?

He stopped by the stone. Traced the words cut there with his eyes.

_Sakumo Hatake. Beloved husband, beloved father._

For awhile he just stood there. It wasn’t like he had much to say. What did one say to the dead? He’d… already said what he needed to during Pain’s attack on Konoha. This was just… remembering. He reached out to touch the stone and realized he was still holding the flowers Iruka had given him. Blinking back tears, Kakashi bent and laid them on the grass in front of the stone. Then he ran his hand over the curving top of the grave marker and let his hand linger on the warm surface. When he stood, he patted the stone, and turned away.

Looking up at the sky, Kakashi strolled across the grass with his face lifted up to the sun. His feet carrying him back towards where Iruka waited. Back to his life. It was what Sakumo would have wanted.

For his son to live.

**Author's Note:**

> What am I supposed to say here? What do I even want to say here... It's been seven years since you went away and I can't decide if I should be okay, or be falling apart. I just miss you so fucking much. Why did you have to leave so soon? I still need you, damn it! I still need you here. I understand why you left, but... I don't understand at all. I'll always miss you. But I still see you when I look in the mirror. You'll always be here with me.


End file.
